Keep Smiling and Love Life: Impossible

*This post has things about my eating habits and my unhealthy past. This could trigger some people so please use caution in reading this! I promise my blog is mostly about how life is truly beautiful so stay tuned! :D

Hello everyone! I hope Monday has been amazing for you :)
I won't usually be serious on this blog because that's not my intention. I want to be able to be honest with you about my life and things that changed my views on life. Let's begin!

When I was younger, I was usually called the cute and chubby one, which I actually loved haha. I had absolutely no problem with being a bit on the chunkier side. I was completely healthy and that was all that mattered. I didn't like being active other than swimming or jumping rope and playing outside was a daily things for me. Around 9 years old, my mom took me to swim class. I was taught so many techniques and loved it!
The lessons were at the local gym, so when I grew older, I also took advantage of the equipment as well. I went on the treadmill and lifted very light weights. Not only was I healthy, but I felt so happy.
When I entered middle school, I kept a steady weight by running everyday up and down my street with my older sister. I thought I was going to DIE by the 4th lap heehee ^^

I started to really love running at 14 but instead of joining the track team, I was accepted into the swim team. I was so excited because I never part of a "team" before! We had practice everyday after school for 2 hours or more, which made me HUNGRY. I began to eat a lot more than I usually did but still kept my toned figure. I usually ate Coldstone's right after practice and it had all the fixings.

HOLY YUM.

Swim season lasted for about 4 months and it eventually came to an end. I made a lot of new friends and was in the best shape of my life. I decided that to keep this figure, I should probably start eating healthier and keep up with my workouts. It was all good at the beginning, eating whole grain, skipping the extra dessert, cutting out too much soda. People said I looked amazing and that I had the perfect body! That's when I pushed it a little to far. I gave up on foods that I deemed "bad" like fries, burgers, brownies, cream pasta and it went to the point where I was eliminating food groups. I dropped about 20 pounds and was at my lowest weight.

December 2011

I was always cold, tired and I wore the same jeans because the other ones that I had didn't fit me anymore. I was hurting myself and the people around me who loved me. I got into a lot of arguments with my parents and my sister, often refusing to believe what they were noticing about me lately. I cried myself to sleep, wishing that my life was easier.

My mom finally had enough and took me to a dietitian to find the best solution for me. I was nervous because I didn't want to face a professional. When we got to the office, she was a very nice person and she just wanted to help me. But I still had my guard up because I didn't want to reveal anything. She told me she had to check my weight first. For the first time in my life, I cringed at the number I saw. How did I get to this state? It was something about my parents being there that really hit my heart hard. The dietitian didn't seem too surprised and sat me down. She told me about the consequences of being too underweight like the inability to have babies and osteoporosis. My parents started to cry and I knew then that things had to change. I had to change.

She gave me a food plan and told me to have a food journal to record my daily eats. I started to increase my intake more and more everyday. I opened myself to the things I avoided for so long and let go.

It took about 6 months but now, I'm at my goal weight!