What I've Been Thinking About Lately

Happy Thursday everyone! You made it through the hump ;) 

This post won't include many photos, just random ramblings of myself. I hope that's okay with you guys! Just stay with me, okay? 

Life has been going by WAY too fast these past few months. It's summertime for me already which means I'm a senior now. Man, I remember I was a little freshman a while ago and practically going to every teacher, asking them for directions to my next class. It's sad to think my high school experience is almost coming to a halt but I'm ecstatic for the future!

I always thought my future was going to be successful, that I was going to be some kind of doctor. Most Asian parents want their kids to be in the medical field (figures!) so I believed that it was my fate. Then the eating disorder took control. 

How I let myself get that far into it, I have no idea. Suddenly, my dreams, my friends and the familiar light that once filled my life were slowly fading away. I isolated myself so that it was only me and my ED. I felt that this was the best choice - all so I could have a flat stomach and the all so popular thigh gap. 

But long behold, I found love. Love from my God, the person who was always there, from the very beginning. The person who I ignored the past 2 years, thinking that there was no hope for me. The pain and anger that I bottled up inside was released from my body and my mind! I was free :) 

Now, all I see is hope and light. The belief that I can do anything! My body is at peace and is where it should be. I'm not perfect by any means and I still have those days where ED comes back to bite my butt. But the most important thing that has changed is my willingness to fight back. 

I learned that I find so much joy in helping people with their health goals and their nutrition. All I hope to do is to change even just one area in their life to better their body and mind. To love themselves for the accomplishes they made and find confidence! 

"I am unique and I am beautiful."

Something that I haven't been able to say for too long. Don't make the same mistake I did and not appreciate everything and everyone around you. Say this to yourself everyday, as soon as you wake up. It'll make waking up much easier! 

Be a vessel of love and spread it. Be the motivator to yourself and your friends to get moving! And most of all, remember that everything happens for a reason. There are better things for you at the end of every road. Just keep trucking, my friends <3 

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I still have much to tell you so stay tuned! ^^

Question time! 

Tell me one thing that you love about yourself! Be bold! 

Days Like This

It's days like this where I realize what I have. For some reason, I have those special days when my blessings really are made evident to me. 

Where I'm with family and friends,

when I have lots of GOOD food,

and my health is where it should be. 

It's days like this when I know that my ED past is a blessing in disguise. Everyone that has been with me these last 17 years have been supporting through the bad times and picked me up when I fell. I struggled with food for such a long time but now? I appreciate every single second that God gives me. 

That smile that I faked before meeting my friends? 

It's real now. 

The anxiety before eating a meal?

Gone. 

The frustration I felt when I didn't exercise everyday for a certain amount of time? 

Who the heck cares? 

There is much more to life than food and exercise! I think many people forget about that when they are trying to live a healthy life. Mental and emotional health is just as important, if not more important, than physical health! Never let anything or anyone hinder you from having fun :) 

Eat out once in a while, have a rest day and spend time with your loved ones. 

Because that my friends, is when you are truly living. 

God bless my loves, and have a great night<3 

I'm Me {Happy Birthday Alina!}

Hello my loves! 

I cannot believe today is the day...

I turn SEVENTEEN! 

My, how time flies.

I cannot even start to explain how happy and blessed I am. 

This morning, I woke up with such a spring in my step, and the first thing I did was pray!

I prayed about my family and how thankful I am to be surrounded by them. 

(Wish you were here, Sister Smile! <3)

Cuzzzo :)

I prayed about my friends and how they always seem to make me laugh on days when I don't feel too great!

But most importantly, I prayed about my new found happiness. 

For so long, I let myself forget about what is means to truly be happy. Going out with friends, making jokes, spending time with my family. To eat, breathe and live life. 

I consumed myself with what brought me to the lowest part of my life and I lost many things because of it. ED is not something that you can just "get over".

Although it was a part of my past, I can't forget that it ever happened or hide that I experienced ED. It's my testimony to share with everyone and say, "I'm not perfect, and I'm okay with that." 

Everyday, I'm learning that I am beautiful for who God created me to be. 

It is amazing to realize that it's the first year where I am able to say that ED doesn't have control over me. I am my own voice and since I turned away from ED, I see a new future for me and my health. 

As I am getting older, I'm learning that life is way too short to be unhappy! 

Everyday is a gift and I'm looking forward to living it up and using my past to make a difference.

The girl a year ago wouldn't have enjoyed her birthday cake because she was too worried about what was in it. The girl a year ago wouldn't have wanted to go out because she was scared people would offer her cookies as a present. The girl a year ago would have exhausted herself exercising to burn the "wasteful calories" on the slice of cake. 

I'm over joyed with the fact that I'm not the same girl anymore. 

I'm finally me.

Here's to a healthy and happy 17th year! 

God bless you, my friends<3

Hey Alina!

Oh hey Alina. How are you doing? 

I'm been doing just swell! Actually, I sorta lied. It's been a little crazy here. 

Really? Why is that? 

School has been super hectic and I feel like the teachers are out to get me. But let me tell you, everything else, was just FAB.

Korean feasts were eaten everyday.

Breakfasts that made me swoon. 

A fair share of veggies! Trying to pump my intake y'all. 

Chillin' with my homies. 

Kick-ass workouts that left me sweating bullets! 

Ice cream for hot weather :) 

Wow, thanks for catching me up! I totally forgive you for being out for eternity a while. 

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Haha just kidding everyone! The week has been too crowded and I couldn't get to my little corner of blog bliss. It was nice to recollect and focus on my studies though. The first two weeks of school were laid-back but I knew that it wasn't going to last long. The program I'm in gives no mercy ;) The big difference I've noticed between sophomore year and junior year is the reading. Some nights are filled with 30 pages of reading with annotations and notes. I know, CRAYCRAY.  

I'm hope your week was a great one. TGIF by the way! Been looking forward to the weeeeekend baby. Volunteering is going to start tomorrow and I'm excited to see all my friends at the nursing home :) 

Going to sit the hay if I want to get in a workout before then! 

Keep smiling my loves<3