Today is a Gift

Hey everyone! It's been too long and I've missed all of you. I hope everyone's week was filled with love and happiness<3

Hmm, so where have I been? 

Basically, my head has been running in circles. I'm trying to juggle between being an IB student, taking the SATs, volunteering and working out for the last week and a half. I can't seem to find a good balance with everything and it's been stressing me out! 

I'm a perfectionist. In some ways, this is very helpful because it helps me to make sure I get things right. But at the same time, it can push me to the point where I am just tired of trying to be perfect.

My thoughts as of late:

Yes, of course I want to get into an amazing college, preferably out of state! It is, by all means, possible. But, sometimes things don't happen the way we want it to. 

I'd love to get really high scores on the SAT. It's the one thing that could determine whether I get into a certain university or not. Will I get a high score the first time? Probably not. 

I should eat more vegetables today since I haven't had any greens today. Did I get to eating it? Nope. Some days, my body is going to crave carbs more than veggies. That's okay.

I should run outside since I haven't ran in a week. But honestly? I'm not feeling a run so I'll just stick to weight lifting inside. 

I want abs like that! Gah, I have to eat super clean to do that. But HECK no am I giving up grains. I love my bread too much. 

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My mind has been crazy lately, battling with expectations from my family, peers and ultimately myself in all areas of my life. It's been difficult to decide what is important and what matters to my future right now.

The future scares me. I don't know where I'll be or who I'll be with. I have no clue about where my body will take me, what my mind will tell me and how my heart will continue to lead me. I find it hard to trust in my own instincts since I've been wrong so many times in the past, mentally, spiritually, and physically. 

So today, I am going to strive to be willing and dedicated to be the best version of me. This doesn't mean that I will have the best grades or the "perfect" diet. Not all my workouts will be successful and exciting. I'm very unsure about what God has planned for me but I know one thing. 

God will never give me something I can't handle. He knows my fears, goals, my past and my future. 

Right now, all I need to do is be in the present and to enjoy every beautiful second this life has to offer. 

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13